Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Inception vs Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Yesterday, I went to see Inception. But to avoid spoilers or black holes of speculation as to what it meant (I have a theory, but it's rather incomplete), I'd rather talk about another movie I saw recently. It is called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.

Ignore the pizza stain on my lapel, and read about
a cinematic materpiece

First of all, let's get one thing clear. It's a giant OCTOPUS, not a squid. That was mentioned at least twice in the film, and is apparently of great import. To be honest, I was watching it with about five other people, and we only paid attention to stuff like when the shark jumped out of the sea to eat a plane out of the sky. Which begs the question....why is it eating a flying object anyway? As far as I know, normal sharks don't eat birds. I mean, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, it's not like I'm a shark expert or anything. But I'm pretty sure that's not Standard Operating Procedure. So why would a giant shark try to eat what it could only perceive to be a sort of giant bird? Can't it find, like, a whale to munch on?

Of course, the main reason to watch Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is to see the two creatures engage in a thrilling battle to the death. Unfortunately, they spent most of the movie far apart from each other, barely interacting. And then, when the inevitable face-off ensued, the really horrendous CGI (which contributes to much of the movie's charm and mockability) left me feeling cheated. At best, it looked a bit like they were trying to make hybrid baby sea creatures, not ruthlessly annihilate and destroy each other. 

I guess that explains the new Syfy movie coming out: Sharktopus. Yes, it's real. (Well, not the sharktopus, but the movie.